Ordinary Is Never Perfect
by DKM
Summary: or ten times Oliver and Felicity try to have sex, but hopelessly fail.
1. Chapter 1: Charlie Horse

_**Ordinary Is Never Perfect  
**_

**1. Charlie Horse**

Prompt: Someone getting a leg cramp, partner thinks they're hurting them, the mood is gone.

Synopsis: 10 times Oliver and Felicity try to have sex, but utterly fail.

Rating: M

Pairing: Oliver & Felicity

Characters: Oliver & Felicity

Season/Episode: Future Fic

Category: Smut/Humor

AN: So the smut series begins! All these prompts can be found on Tumblr. I plan on doing them exactly as they are ordered. We'll see how quickly I can crank them out.

Disclaimer: (the usual, don't own, idea was mine though)

* * *

The first time they have sex, it's perfect. Everything goes right. It's hot, it's passionate, it blows both their minds, and it sets the bar high for the next time. She knows it's an impossible standard considering, well, it's Oliver-fucking-Queen for god's sake and lord have mercy is he good in bed, but now that they've just had the most incredible sex she's ever experienced, she has no idea how they're going to top it.

_Meh_, Felicity thinks. _With that body, I'm pretty sure I've got nothing to worry about._

The second time doesn't exactly go as planned. They'd had a long, tiring day at the office and an even longer training session on the mats in the lair. Felicity is exhausted, but all the adrenaline coursing through her veins has her pumped and primed for one more long, _hard_ workout.

As she stands there in the center of the floor, hopping up and down on her toes trying to work off the excess energy, she spies Oliver out of the corner of her eye, grabbing towels and water bottles. His body, just like hers, drips with perspiration. It glistens off his skin as he walks towards her and suddenly Felicity is assaulted with images of her tongue lapping away each little droplet off his toned chest.

A devilish smile curls up her lips and she turns to him, her hands on her hips, eyes raking over his body in all its half naked glory. He sees that look and immediately stops in his tracks, his fingers clutching the towels and bottles tightly as he waits for her move.

Felicity slowly saunters up to him, her eyes flicking between his chest and his mouth. Her bottom lip is tucked between her teeth as she watches him still, his eyes narrowing at her just slightly. She knows that look well. The desire held in those blackened pools makes her heart flutter as she finally steps up to him, her fingers reaching up and just barely brushing down his broad chest.

From that point on, it's a free for all. The towels and bottles slip from his grasp, clattering to the floor as she's swept into his arms for a bruising kiss. Teeth rake across her lower lip, nipping and sucking as she mewls in response. It's hot and heavy, with Felicity finding herself clawing her fingers down his back desperately looking for something to cling to as his hands scoop the slopes of her ass to press her flat against him.

In mere seconds, her legs are pulled around his waist as he lowers her back to the mat, his lips sucking deep purple welts along her neck that she knows are going to be a bitch to cover tomorrow morning. But Felicity doesn't care. She's enjoying this far too much, her body immediately reacting to his touch. It sets her skin on fire wherever the pads of his fingers land. Right now they're working the zipper of her sports bra down, the other hand reaching inside the stretchy lycra material until he finds one supple breast.

Her head tilts back as a cry escapes her throat. Oliver's fingers have found her nipple and relentlessly pinch and roll it to a stiff peak. Her right leg wraps around his hips, forcing him closer until she can feel the hard length of his cock pressing right where she needs it. She's definitely ready for more, but then something happens.

Felicity doesn't know whether it's the way she moves her leg or how she rolls her hips, but a sharp pain flares from her right hamstring. The cry that tears from her throat stops Oliver immediately. All the passion and lust drains from his eyes. They're replaced by concern and fear, two things she hates seeing, especially when combined.

"What's wrong?" Oliver asks as he pushes himself away from her. "Did I hurt you? Did I do something wrong?"

"No," Felicity grumbles as her leg slides from his hip and lands on the mat beside his knee. Her hand reaches for her hamstring, massaging it gently as the pain begins to ebb. "Cramp."

Oliver's head drops. She knows that look too. He feels guilty; responsible. Her free hand reaches up to cup his jaw in hopes of setting him at ease, but he still refuses to look at her. "Hey," Felicity softly whispers as her thumb sweeps over his cheek, "this is not your fault."

He sighs deeply before lifting his head. Their eyes meet, blue on blue, and she can still see the vestiges of guilt swimming in their depths. She scoots closer to him, careful of the way she moves her leg, and lets her head fall to his shoulder.

"I shouldn't have worked you so hard," Oliver whispers, his cheek pressing to her forehead.

"But I like it when you work me hard," she protests, her gaze finding his a moment later. "It's no fun if you go easy on me. Besides, maybe one of these days some of the moves you teach me down here might come in handy in the bedroom."

That gets a snort and a chuckle out of him. The smile on his face blossoms into that gorgeous grin that always makes her heart skip a beat as he reaches down and slips his hand beneath her aching leg. It feels good when his practiced fingers begin rubbing strong, soothing circles into her muscles, easing the painful tension that still lingers.

Felicity groans when he hits a particularly sore spot and he immediately pulls back. "Why'd you stop?" she grumbles, but soon finds herself being hoisted into his arms and carried over to her computer chair.

"Because we're going home so I can properly take care of that for you," he says, his tone leaving no room for argument.

"And how do you plan on doing that?" Felicity asks anyway as she zips her bra up and grabs the light jacket slung over the back of her chair.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Oliver smirks before pulling his t-shirt over his head.


	2. Chapter 2: Some Nights

_**Ordinary Is Never Perfect  
**_

**2. Some Nights**

Prompt: Cuddling that goes on forever, without long and intimate discussions.

Synopsis: 10 times Oliver and Felicity try to have sex, but utterly fail.

Rating: K+

Pairing: Oliver & Felicity

Characters: Oliver & Felicity

Season/Episode: Future Fic

Category: Fluff

AN: This one was based off an image on saw on Tumblr. What happens in this story is exactly what happens in the gif. It's rather cute.

Disclaimer: (the usual, don't own, idea was mine though)

* * *

Most nights they just fall into bed, too tired to move more than an inch, their arms wrapped around each other as they drift off. Other nights are hot and heavy, full of passion and sweat and strangled moans. Then there are the nights where they simply want to relax.

Tonight is one of those nights. She props herself up on her maroon pillow, wearing a simple faded grey tank top and red gym shorts with white stripes up the sides. Grabbing the book she's been reading on and off for the past month, she finally gets comfortable as he finishes his nightly routine and slips into bed beside her.

He's tired, but not as tired as those other nights where he barely crawls into bed before he's fast asleep, his face pressed against her shoulder as his breaths puff across her skin. Tonight he snuggles beside her, his face pressing into her belly, kissing it softly before his head finally comes to rest in her lap as his hand hand runs up and down leg, just below the hem of her shorts before stopping somewhere mid-thigh.

She sighs, her book falling over her chest as she looks down at him. He's relaxed, peaceful, and her fingers fall to the top of his head, carding through the short strands of his sandy hair. A deep, shuddering breath escapes his lungs, his shoulders slumping even further in relaxation. This is a moment where he's at his most vulnerable, and she knows it's because he trusts her.

He's never like this at any other time of the day, just right now, when he's with her; when he's comfortable and at ease. It's taken them two years to get to this point, and no matter how many times she tries to deny it, she knows it's all because of her.

She smiles, her fingers continuing to card through his hair as his breathing evens out. His hand has crept higher, falling against her hip just below where the hem of her shirt rides up exposing a delicate strip of skin his thumb gently caresses, the calloused pad sending little spikes of heat through her body.

But tonight she decides not to act on it. She prefers these little moments to the hot and heavy ones sometimes, because they're much more honest than the whispered "I love you's" in the heat of passion. They show love instead of tell it. And that's all she ever really wants some nights.


	3. Chapter 3: Stupid Belt Buckle

_**Ordinary Is Never Perfect  
**_

**3. Stupid Belt Buckle**

Prompt: Bra or Belt being impossible to unfasten with one hand in the dark. Having to get the other person to do it.

Synopsis: 10 times Oliver and Felicity try to have sex, but utterly fail.

Rating: M

Pairing: Oliver & Felicity

Characters: Oliver & Felicity

Season/Episode: Future Fic

Category: Smut

Disclaimer: (the usual, don't own, idea was mine though)

_**AN: Fic dump. Completing all these and then I'm done with this fucking fandom. Hope you haters are happy. Go fuck yourselves.**_

* * *

It's three in the morning. The door to her apartment opens in a rush, flying in a woosh until it hits the wall with a loud thud that would probably wake the neighbors, but they don't care. Hands are everywhere, tugging at suit jackets and hair pins, laying a trail of clothing on the floor from the front door to her bedroom.

Oliver kicks it shut as an afterthought. He's too busy fiddling with the zipper of her dress, yanking it down to expose the bare flesh of her back to his eager hands. His fingers trail down her spine causing her to shiver in anticipation.

Felicity's hands are prying open the buttons of his dress shirt, but she quickly becomes impatient when her dress is pulled from her body leaving her in only a black lace thong. When his fingers sink into the soft, round flesh of her ass, she groans. There isn't much thought given to his shirt as she grabs the soft fabric and pulls it open the rest of the way, pearl buttons flying in all directions.

The soft grown that escapes Oliver's throat sends her into a tizzy. She feels light headed and giddy while his mouth sucks a line down her throat until he reaches her collarbone. His fingers continue to knead her ass, slipping beneath the frilly lace of her thong before tugging it down so it sits at the tops of her thighs.

"Oh, god!" Felicity moans when he begins to stroke his thumb between her legs. It's been over two weeks since they'd had sex, and she's desperate to feel him right now.

Oliver isn't fairing any better. The second he touches her slit and feels the moisture that's gathered there against his fingers, his teeth sink into her skin. She's so wet and so needy. He can't help himself when he pushes her onto the bed and nearly rips her thong the rest of her way down her legs, tossing it over his shoulder not caring where it lands.

His mouth tears away from her flesh as he stares down at her, naked and waiting, her eyes that dark shade of blue, so full of want and desire it nearly drives him mad. Her legs are spread, feet hooking behind his knees and drawing him close so when she sits up, her hands easily reach for the buckle of his belt.

Felicity's first attempt at taking it off fails. Sweaty palms and overzealous excitement force her fingers to slip as she tries to pull the silver buckle out of the belt loops of his pants. Pausing for a moment to wipe her hands on the comforter, she tries again and yet again fails. Her frustration grows as she tries one more time, all the while noticing just how hard Oliver is under that fine Italian fabric. If she doesn't get that belt undone soon, she's going to scream.

The next time she tries, she manages to get the leather out of the catch only to get it stuck in the loops of his pants as she tries to pull it off in one quick motion. Oliver lurches forward, caught off guard by her almost violent move. He's falling on top of her before he can stop himself. There's only enough time to throw his arms forward before he has Felicity pinned to the bed, her arms tangled beneath his chest.

"Ow!" she cries out and he knows almost immediately what's happened.

When he pulls away, Felicity grabs her hand and begins to massage it. "I'm so sorry!" Oliver is quick to apologize as he takes her hand and softly rubs it with his fingers. He's now kneeling between her legs. They're eye level with each other and he can clearly see the mood has changed between them. Gone is the heat and the passion of just moments earlier. There's pain in her eyes and he knows he's hurt her more than she cares to admit.

"I'll be fine," Felicity mutters before she grabs the corners of the comforter and begins to draw them up over her shoulders.

"Are you cold?" Oliver asks. When she nods, he grabs this discarded shirt and pulls it around her body. Yes, the mood is definitely ruined, and as he stands up to take off the rest of his clothes, he can hear her muttering something along the lines of "stupid belt buckle."

Returning to bed, Oliver finds her already curled up under the soft pink blanket. He slides in beside her, his arms reaching out to wrap around her waist and bring her to his chest. "I'm sorry," he murmurs into her ear then presses a kiss to her shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault," Felicity sighs before relaxing into the warmth of his embrace. "Stupid belt buckle," she bitterly mumbles. He's out of bed seconds later. "Where are you going?" she asks, sitting up and watching Oliver as he grabs the offending garment and throws it in the trash can beside her desk.

Felicity smiles then shakes her head and rolls her eyes when he's sliding back into bed beside her. "Come here," Oliver says as he grabs her by the waist and pulls her into his chest once more. She giggles when his lips find a bare spot on her neck not hidden behind her hair.

Maybe the night isn't a total disaster after all.


End file.
